I'm Baaaaack!

Hello dear readers. I realize its been a while since I've last posted. However, the dawn is breaking and I am writing once again!

Today's subject: Facebook.

Facebook. The addictive site with an outrageously high number of users, all posting, tagging, updating, adding you as a friend, and playing Farmville. You can keep in touch with all your friends, family, acquaintances, co-workers, and that kid you may have talked to once at band camp. Or maybe you just lent him a pencil. Either way, you're friends now.

Facebook is the place where people answer the age-old question, "What's on your mind?" to update a "status". The purpose is allow others have a little sneak peek into the person's life. The good ones are informative, witty, and humorous. The bad ones are...not. There are a few types of bad status updaters.

• The Sympathy-Baiter: "Today was so terrible...", "I'm not doing too well...", "I'm so ugly...". These people leave morbidly vague statuses...(statusi?) in order to trap the unsuspecting reader into commenting and asking what's wrong or leaving compliments. Now every once in a while there are legitimate problems that do not count for this category, such as death, cancer, or a lost llama. However, I'm not talking about those things. I'm talking about the stupid little ones that everyone goes through, and you should just keep it to yourself. But if you must complain to the world, just come out and say it!
  
• The Bad Grammarian: "im sitting wit friendz", "yuu too!!!", "no not reallii". (These are actual examples, mind you.) These people just need a good smack upside the head. I know that in the cyber world, things are different, and no one likes a grammar/spelling Nazi, but enough is enough. Reallii.
  
• The Creeper: This is the dude that just sits back and never updates a status or posts a picture, but will randomly bring up something that someone ELSE posted in a conversation. They just sit back in the shadows and lurk. Creepy.

Note: This is entirely different from the phenomenon known as "facebook stalking". If you are unfamiliar with it...look it up. I'm too lazy to explain. But its fun. And highly useful. :)

• Mr. "Popular": This is that guy (or girl) who is "friends" with about five trillion people. I'm sorry, but unless you're Oprah Winfrey, there is no way you know that many people, let alone the random lady from Botswana.
  
• The Constant Updater of Boring Life Trivia: "Eating a sandwich", "Going to the gas station", "Reading a book", etc. Really? Nobody cares. I'm sorry...but they don't.

There are many more, but I think you get the point. After all, they are everywhere.