First and foremost, this particular post is dedicated to my aunt Denise and my cousin Erica (who requested on Thursday that I refer to her as "Bertha". Whatevs. No judgment. ...Weirdo.). They have informed me that they are great fans of this here blog, and that Erica's roommate apparently has an awesome laugh when she reads it. Rock on, roommate. But for reals, I'm glad you guys like it! You'll be getting your thank-you presents in the mail. (If they aren't there in three years, blame somebody in Botswana. I'm sure it's their fault.) So...without further ado, I'll get to my topic of the day:
No One Wants To Hear About It
Let's face it. Some topics of conversation are dull. Snooze-worthy. Plain old boring. We are all guilty; we all find ourselves talking about this stuff at one time or another. But that doesn't make it right. Today I will provide you with a list of some things that no one wants to hear about. Ever. Not at lunch. Not on Facebook. Not on Twitter. Not while camping. Not any time. (Feel free to add in the comments section.)
- How little you studied for the test, but still got a good grade.
- Your dad's job. (Unless your dad is a spy, and even then, discuss sparingly.)
- Anything about a car you don't own.
- About the one time, six years ago at camp, when you ate a worm on a dare.
- Your opinion on how great the Beatles were.
- Your weird dream you had the other night.
- The amount of sleep you got last night.
- The building of your parents' new home.
- Your thoughts on Mondays.
- Who you think is going to win...anything.
- How happy you are that a team won something.
- The one time you got food poisoning from somewhere.
- The starving children in Africa when you don't finish everything on your plate.
- American Idol.
- The time you got pulled over for something and the cop just gave you a warning.
- The amount of money you got from dumping your spare change at a Coinstar.
- Any concert or party that took place over three months ago.
- Your headache.
- Countries you want to visit.
- Complaints regarding the lack of music on MTV.
- Your infected toenail.
- How your cousin flipped his car. (Unless your cousin is a spy, and even then, discuss sparingly.)
- Things your phone can do.
- Things your dog ate/tried to eat.
- Why Macs are better than PCs (or vice versa)
- The fact that stores put seasonal merchandise on display far in advance of the actual season/holiday.
- Complaints regarding the recent changes made to Facebook.
Oh gosh, I think I talk about some of these things! I should probably refine my conversation skills.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, we all talk about these things. Which is why it's funny.
ReplyDeleteNo one wants to hear about the blister you got from burning yourself and how it got infected and full of puss. No one wants to hear about that awful stomach bug that kept you in the bathroom for so long the other day. No one wants to hear about how you eat and eat and just can't seem to put on any weight(may my grandma rest in peace). No one wants to hear how loaded your parents/uncle/grandpa/etc... is. No one wants to hear your testimony in relief society about your addiction to porn(totally true story there). No one wants to hear that you honestly and truly believe in fairies(seriously, my neighbors do and they are in their 50s). I really could go on and on here. Haha!
ReplyDelete