Jane Austen's World

Sometimes I wish I was born in the times of Pride and Prejudice.


Why? I'll give you 5 reasons.

1. It was cool to be pale.
I am the whitest person that I know. Though I've learned to appreciate my ghostliness, I've been the butt of many jokes. (My favorite being: "Hey Ash, you know when Joseph Smith said he saw two pillars of light? Yeah. Those were just the whiteness of your legs when you were wearing shorts!" Good one, Sydney. I commend you.) Here in the times of 2010, people are obsessed with being tan. They spend ridiculous amounts of money just to make their skin darker. But back in the times of Pride and Prejudice, being pale was all the rage. Being white meant you were rich and awesome, and had the luxury of lounging around in your mansion all day or walking around outside under your little parasol. Being tan meant you were a lame-sauce farmer who had to work outside for a living.

2. Men were so much nicer.
Ok girls, tell me you haven't watched a Jane Austen movie without sighing over how gentlemanly the men are. They're always so darn polite, and helping the women out of carriages, and saying nice things, and rushing in on horseback to save the day...*siiiigh*

3. Gave you a good excuse to use words like "thither", "mischance", and "felicity" without being looked at funny.
...Always a plus.

4. Balls and Poofy Dresses.
Balls. (No giggling, now.) They're the fabulously over-dressed parties that everyone goes to. Everyone knows the choreography, and you get to meet a whole bunch of new people. Plus you have a live band. Sounds like fun to go to, personally. Also you get to wear these awesomely poofy dresses covered in beads and frills and lace that a hundred doiles died to make.

5. Servants.
These should definitely come back into style. They live to serve! I can just imagine myself, seated ladylike on a couch with a book in my hand, when I pick up the little silver bell and ring it while calling "Brunhildaaa!" And then she'll come rushing in to do whatever I ask her. Bliss.


On the other hand, however, there were definitely a plethora of things wrong with that century.

• Chamber pots: Gross. They're in your ROOM for heaven's sake. What if you accidentally knocked it over? Just nasty.
• Horse-drawn carriages: While they may be romantic, they're hardly practical. They aren't very fast, they must be freezing in the winter, and I would definitely NOT want to be the guy who has to clean up after them horses.
  
• Poofy dresses: Yes, I know I mentioned this in the "pros" list earlier, but imagine having to wear them ALL the time! I like my sweats and jeans and hoodies, thank you very much. Plus they would get awfully hot in the summer.
• Big ol' drafty houses: Those mansions may look cool, but I'm 97% positive that they are not very fun in the winter.

I think I'll stick to 2010.