The Mysteries of Life

There are many things in life that tend to boggle my mind and leave me scratching my head. Things like mint chocolate chip flavored gum, and why DID that darn chicken cross the road? I'm not even sure they really have an explanation, so I usually just chalk these things up to being one of "Life's Mysteries". I don't think we mere mortals are supposed to understand, anyways. So let us take a moment to ponder just a few of these fascinating phenomena.

• Where is Waldo, anyway? And what is his reason for hiding from everyone? Is he running from the Palestinian government for stealing their prize camel? Ashamed of his silly hat? Avoiding his psycho ex?
  

• What do they use to ship styrofoam?

• That Lone Shoe on the freeway. You know, when you're driving along, you look at the side of the road, and there's a shoe. All by itself. Why is it there? And where is its companion?
  

• What was the best thing before sliced bread?

• High School cafeterias. The things that commence and the food that is served there shall forever boggle my mind.

• Blobfish. Apparently Nature has a sense of humor.
  

• Why do we drink cow milk? Really! Like who was that first guy who looked at a cow and said, "I think I'll drink whatever comes out of these things when I squeeze 'em!"

• Mullets. They are about as attractive as a yak, but for some reason guys love the hairstyle.
  

• Why do we press harder on the remote control buttons when we know the battery is dead?

• What language does the voice in deaf people's heads speak? (There's a mind-bender for ya!)
  

• Why are there so many Land Before Time movies? The first one was perfectly fine by itself. If they keep going, they're eventually have to show the dinosaurs getting destroyed by meteors. And I don't think little kids would appreciate watching Little Foot get blown up.

• These shoes.

• Why every person who owns a ukulele feels it is their duty and calling in life to carry it around everywhere they go and constantly play the same four chords over and over again.

• The Edward/Jacob rivalry, when CLEARLY Harry Potter trumps all.